#2 The before & after.

People look at me these days very differently to how they did two years ago. I don’t blame them. I do too.

I used to be nearly invisible (to some). Have you ever felt like that? Or I disgusted (some) people. I could see it in their faces, even when they thought they were hiding it. It’s called a micro expression — we all do it, it’s very hard to hide and it’s so quick, most people miss it. But I saw it. And I felt it.

I look at bigger people now (I never say fat, let’s not even use that word anymore unless it’s describing the best bit on a piece of pork) with love, and compassion and I know they are exactly the same as me. I’ve been there. I’ve been very big. Unhealthily big.

I could say that’s okay. But it wasn’t. I was scary. My family, my friends… they worried about me. Was I worried? Yeah. Was I in denial because I thought it would be too hard to change? Hell yeah. Did I want change it? With every fibre of my being.

So here is my before and after. Although it’s hard for me to share it, I’m also still totally in shock that these two images are both me. It’s an odd one, and in sharing these words & these pictures I hope to share what is possible. We all know in our minds that big things are achievable. We see others achieve them so logically we know that one can do them. We just don’t believe that WE are capable of those big things.

We think those other people have something we don’t, have an advantage or are better than us.

That’s bull*hit.

What it is you really want? It is out there waiting for you to own it. You just need to find YOUR way.

So, I met a girl & found my way. We met through work (I’m a mobile bra fitter if you don’t know me) and I was fitting her one day. She had lost an impressive amount of weight. She decided instead of keeping it all to herself — and by the look of me at that time she could tell I needed to know — so she told me how she did it.

This is why I’m telling you.

If I hadn’t met her, I don’t know where I’d be today.

Diabetes. Sick. Exhausted. On blood pressure meds. Sad.

Who knows.

She hadn’t told many people at that point and I didn’t tell many in the beginning either. You know why? Because people judge. I’ve been judged by people who know nothing about what I’ve been through in the last 2 years. So let’s just get this all straight right now – with total love. Use this as a way to learn about something you might know little about before you decide on the opinion you will hold. Get to know me – my decision to change my opinion on this same subject is what I believe saved my life.

No I’m not talking Scientology. Breathe.

Weight loss surgery.

Or as I like to call it ‘stomach correction surgery’.

Do you know someone who has had it?

What do you know a about it?

Guess what, it saved my life. I thank God for it.

Can you lose a heap weight without it? Yep you sure can — my bestie has and another few good friends of mine have and I’m so proud of them. They are also proud of me.

One thing I just want to get out of the way here and now so we can move on to the good stuff. The most common ‘judgy’ thing I’ve heard say about WLS is that it’s cheating and an easy way out — you go into hospital and then you just lose weight.

Um, no.

Look, I mean, that would be great of it was that simple! Not everything in life needs to be a struggle to make it real. In reality though, of course it’s not a magic pill. Anyone who knows me well can vouch for it. I’d love to tell you my story so that if you, or someone you know, needs to go down that path you know what it’s all about.

Along the way I have become very knowledgeable about weight loss and overall health because I still needed to lose the weight myself. I’d also love to share this part of the adventure because I’m seriously excited about everything I’ve learnt.

Most importantly what has changed has been my mind. It’s been an incredible learning experience for me. That’s what I’d like to get out there most – how I went from ‘No way can I do this. And if I can’t do this why do I think I can do anything else’ to ‘Hell yeah I’m going to do this, and if I can do this I can do other big things’ I know which life I’m choosing x

p.s. any questions? feel free to ask in the comments x

17 thoughts on “#2 The before & after.

    1. I have and still am walking in your shoes.It is so true that unless you have gone through it yourself it is so hard for people to understand. My sister who is a heavy smoker has said to me “it can’t be that hard just don’t eat the biscuit” well why are you still smoking, I continue to wage a daily battle in my head every day re weight/ loss/ gain. I have just watched the DVD Embrace, it was very enlightening, thank you for sharing your story

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I’m really glad you’ve found this path to making you feel better about yourself, because you’ve always made everyone else feel good. You brighten every room (that is so horribly cliche’d, but I couldn’t think of another way of describing it).

    Really looking forward to hearing more about your journey.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You’re a beautiful person both inside and out no matter what your size has been. You always have made women feel special no matter what size they are. Thank you for being so special xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow
    I can’t wait to read more.

    “I used to be nearly invisible (to some). Have you ever felt like that? Or I disgusted (some) people. I could see it in their faces, even when they thought they were hiding it. ”

    This is how I have felt for years. The thought of having to loose over 60kg has been daunting, scary.
    Earlier this year I did it! I had WLS.

    Thank you for sharing your journey. You have a new follower.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t understand how major, non reversible surgery can be see as the easy way out.
    You still have to do the work. I’ve known a
    Couple of people who’ve had it and only lost half, or regained it all cos they didn’t do the work.

    So well done you. Amazing work!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Boy oh boy…I needed to read this. Only one good friend of mine knows that I am heading for WLS. I am booked in and actually laughed at myself for almost skipping out of his office. He laughed knowingly when I said “its feels crazy to be so happy about surgery”. Feeling positive. Thank you for sharing. You were beautiful in before pictures…and after. But I know the best change is in your head. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh I hear you loud and clear. I had the gastric sleeve done just over 3 years ago. Lost a lot of so called friends because of it too. I lost weight the wrong way, I cheated, I took the easy way out was all I heard for months. I’m sorry but there is nothing easy about having this surgery it can be a total mind fark at times. But I am so glad I did it. I did it for me and no one else. I’m happy my family is happy and I can do all the things my kids have always wanted me to do. Good on you for putting it out there xxxx You look amaze balls by the way xx

    Liked by 1 person

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