#7 Stop stopping you.

Everything’s going so well, you feel on top of the world.
Then BOOM. You knew it had to all come crashing down. Of course it did. It was too good to be true. It never lasts. That’s how life is & that’s just your luck etc etc…

Hey guess what that’s called? Self-sabotage or holding yourself back.

This is a tricky subject. We hate to think that we’d do anything to hinder our own lives esp when it’s going really well. I used to do it ALL OF THE TIME.

Let’s see if you can relate to any of these:
It’s all going great. So you’re waiting for something to go wrong…

You know when you get enough sleep and eat well you feel great but you go to bed at 11pm (ahem 1am) then choose coffee & sugar to get you through the next day… and you’re sooo tired.

You don’t know how it started but you’re having that same old argument again with your favourite person. It always happens when you’ve had a really good week/month together something has to ruin it…

It’s that time of the year that everyone get’s sick, you can just feel it coming on too…

I can relate to all of them & more. It’s like we’re always trying to stay in our comfort zone so when it’s all going too well we get a little scared. I know when I first came across this concept I was like “WTF? Why would I do that? It’s normal, we have ups and downs, that’s how life is.” Until it wasn’t. I read a book recommended to me “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks – It literally blew my tiny mind. Audible it/download it/buy it. Now.

If you don’t feel you deserve good things, it feels wrong when things start to go right so it’s better to go back to the way it was. Not as good but much less scary. We don’t even realise we’re doing it so don’t go beating yourself up if you can relate.

It’s also what we’re taught as we grow up. Don’t think too highly of yourself. Don’t rub anyone’s face in it. Don’t gloat. Or how about… Life wasn’t meant to be easy. Why should I have a good life when there is so much suffering in the world?

I believe God (the universe, the higher whatever you want to call it) wants us to feel good. Joy is the perfect word. Whatever is happening in our world we can still have joy, it doesn’t rely on our circumstances, that’s kind of the definition of joy. But even better we can ACCEPT good things which I believe open us up to welcoming more good things. Yes please!

I know I used to wish for things but I never expected them to happen. It’s like I hoped for something better but knew I couldn’t have it. So I got what I expected. Stayed where I was. Kept myself in my comfort zone and then wondered what life would be like if I actually had what I’d hoped for.

What would happen if you expected what you hoped for?
Instead of ‘How can I do something that only a few people have done?’
‘Who do I think I am to be able to achieve that?’

Well if we know something is possible then why not us, you, me? We all WANT good things, but do you believe you DESERVE good things? If you answered no then that’s where you need to start… why do you think that? Who first told you that? I addressed this and everything changed. And I’m sure you believe me when I say if I can do it, I believe you can too! What have you got to lose?

Here’s 5 questions to ask yourself…

  1. How am I getting in my own way?
  2. Do I feel that there is something wrong, bad or flawed about me?
  3. Will I be leaving anyone behind if I reach my full potential?
  4. Do I believe that bigger success brings me more burden?
  5. Who will I outshine (past or present) if I achieve what I want to achieve?

Oh big questions – thanks Mr Hendricks! If you can relate to any of that and want more answers try the book… I’m still working on it! x

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