Here are 3 things I’m learning to let go of, thought I’d pass on my learns…
I know I’m not perfect.
I know you know you’re not perfect.
I know you’re not perfect.
I know you know I’m not perfect.
Now that we have that all sorted let’s stop trying to pretend.
What is perfection anyway? My definition is different to yours right? We’re pursuing something not only unattainable but also debatable.
Trying to be a better person every day, to learn from our mistakes, to love each other better and to be sorry when we screw up (which we will) is one thing. To think we can be perfect at everything (anything) and beating ourselves up when we aren’t is another.
The only thing I have to say about control is if we think we can control anything other than how we react to what happens, we’re delusional. We have influence and we can have intentions and go about what we would love to see happen but ultimately (and thank GOD) we aren’t in control of the outcome. Let that shit go right now.
Anger, annoyance, frustration, unforgiveness, pain… all of these things are what we would like to have LESS of in our lives. Yet every time we express it, get caught up in it, justify it, we are inviting it to stay.
Deciding to let it go is the easy part. ACTUALLY letting it go is a process, it’s something we can (& I am currently choosing to) learn.
Great news though – the more you do it, the easier it is. But sometimes we don’t wanna!!! (insert foot stamp) – we like it in some way. If you’re over that and you’d rather a more joyful existence where you let people off the hook and extend that same curtesy to yourself… then try it!
This is how I do it…
Take a deep breath (a real one from the belly), feel the emotion (tip: don’t ignore it, push it down or tell yourself off for having it – it’s OK!) feel it for as long as you need to feel it. Don’t THINK about it, just feel it. Thoughts are not helpful in this process, they fuel the emotion. Ask yourself… What’s behind this emotion? Fear? Resentfulness? Whatever it is – acknowledge it, don’t feel bad about it just acknowledge the kid inside you who is feeling this. Realise it’s a FEELING you are having & not something someone has DONE to you. If you choose to hold onto the feeling it’s you who is doing it to yourself. You are not hurting them in anyway.
Take another deep breath, and feel it until it dissipates. Now of course this could take time or be over in no time at all.
Give it away now. I personally give it to God. He can take care of that. Better than I can. And trust that He will. But if you don’t believe He’s there just let it go into the air. It can go back to where it came from.
A note on venting: its bullshit. Did you know that when you vent your actually making the pathway in your mind stronger, linking your emotions even stronger to the problem you would not like to have? It’s the exact opposite of what you want. Talking to someone about how you feel because you want help to move past it can be amazing – esp if you’ve tried to let something go and it’s not budging. It provides perspective but do it with a true open mind, to someone who has some peace and joy in their lives, not someone who loves drama, they’ll just feed it. They’ll love it.
Angry at someone? Do something if there’s something that needs (really needs) to be done and then move on. Feel frustrated with your kids? Can’t move past something? Life might just be too short, that’s how I’m choosing to see it and I’m feeling better and better each day as I laugh instead of getting cranky. It’s much more fun. I’m a duck and water runs straight off me. Mostly. I’m still learning – I feel so much better for it too x
If you’d like to read more on the subject try Gabrielle Bernsteins book The Universe Has Your Back. If you have any further thoughts on it or books/talks you love please send it on through to me!