Someone asked me yesterday what changed to make this all work this time? I mean, how many diets had I been on, how many times had I tried before &… nothing?!
It was ME that changed. Not my situation, not what I knew. Me.
I started to get it – I not only NEEDED to do something (hello, I already knew that). I not only knew my options about HOW to do it (I’d tried everything before & had all the information available to humankind). I started to realise that I COULD do something & that I was WORTH the effort. That was the difference.
Let’s talk about self talk for a sec…
What do you say to yourself when you’ve eaten a doughnut?
What would you say to your best friend who said she’d just eaten a doughnut?
Or a child?
My guess is you’ve answered these 3 questions differently
Here’s something that I have come to terms with. I spoke to myself like crap. Like, I was mean. Like I was an idiot.
Me to me after a doughnut: “That’s disgusting, you pig. Why did you eat that? No wonder you look the way you do. No food for you for the rest of the day. Gross.”
Now… Me to my Girlfriend who has just eaten a doughnut: “Was that good? It looked good.”
Me to one of my Sons if they had just had one: “Was that yummy? Now wipe your mouth.”
See the difference? I would HATE on myself. I would NEVER have spoken like that to someone I love, or anyone else. Only me. Did I love myself? Hell no.
If you wouldn’t say it to your bestie, why say it to yourself?
I treated myself like crap for 36 years. Where did it get me? To 135kgs with pre-diabetes, that’s where. In my 37th year I decided it was time to nurture myself into being someone who can inspire herself, look after herself, love herself enough to give a damn about what she was doing to her body and to her headspace. It’s so much better being me now. And being around me… it’s easier to love other people properly when you don’t hate yourself! I’m all for your success because I’m not threatened by it!
Want to know what I say to myself if I want to eat a doughnut?
“How is that going to make me feel?” Then I make my choice. Learn from it & move on. I’m still the same person I was before I ate it, I’ve just learnt something about myself in that situation. Go me. If I decide it’s going to make me feel sick, tired and yuck maybe I’ll not bother – I know what good feels like now and I like it too much.
You’re self talk might not be as harsh as mine was, it might get to you in a different way – it might nitpick, nag or it might be a little passive aggressive bi#ch. Just a note though, the voice that says these things is not your voice. It’s the voice of someone else (do you know who?) & now that you know this you can work on finding your real voice. It takes time but hey, time is going to pass anyway, you may as well use it wisely. Don’t give up you’re about to make a cool new friend.
If you don’t take care of or CARE ABOUT you, how can you show others that its okay for them do take care of themselves? Transform & renew your mind. When I’m living my best life I give permission for others to do the same.
p.s. sorry if you now feel like eating a doughnut x