Who the actual f*ck am I? I just did a 3 day juice cleanse during lockdown.

I’ve decided I’d like to emerge from lockdown feeling & looking healthy AF.

I’d fallen down the Covid rabbit hole. My self-care routine was great apart from daily cheese boards & more than one glass of wine. Each day is a special occasion yes but some of those days CAN be cheese-less. And wine-less. Those who know me wondered WTF was even going on. So you get the picture, I’ve got a reputation! Surely if I do this, anyone can.

I decided instead of starting with punishing myself for my lockdown life choices I’d do the opposite. A juice & soup cleanse. Rather than thinking of it as deprivation, I decided it was three days of packing my body with as many nutrients as I could. Treating it to a selection of what it was actually craving (you know like vitamins) rather than holding a party for my inner brat each day (have another wine babe, life’s too short, yee-haw).

I’d never done a juice cleanse in my life & even though I know they are popular I had only heard that they were hard, the thought I drinking kale, Spirulina & avocado made me… I can’t even. And how the F was I going to not drink for 3 days? Yes I had been drinking every day. Yes I was enjoying it. No I didn’t know what would really entice me to want to stop. Yes I had put on weight but haven’t we all? I started to imagine people seeing me post our super max prison sentence & thinking – yeah life in lockdown really WAS hard.

Day 0 (the day before):

  • Only 1 coffee (usually 2) & more importantly only 1 really good glass of rose at dinner rather than….. pick a number, any number.
  • I weighed myself, something I’ve been nervous to do
  • Ate slightly less than usual so that day 1 wouldn’t be such a shock.
  • Mel visited me to hand deliver my goodies, I begged her to let me put vodka in at least one of my juices on day one & was she sure I couldn’t burn some extra calories with a black coffee???? No??? Trust me she said. Of course. I said. (Oh fuck, what have I gotten myself in for I thought)

Day 1: This is what a day in the life of a juice cleanse looks like…

  • 4 juices, 2 soups & supplements to slurp over the day at specific times, lots of water & herbal tea. (you can choose other combo’s)
  • I took it easy in today’s yoga class.
  • Everything tastes actually great. I was absolutely shocked when even the Green Goddess soup tasted good. How does this sound… broccoli, cauliflower, zucchini, celery, spinach, kale, onion, parsley, garlic. Huh? Yeah, THAT tasted really good. (I asked permission to add pink himalayan salt, pepper & chilli flakes.) OMG I’ve already ordered some more.
  • I followed Mel’s instructions to a tea – literally I drank so much tea & was watching the clock for my next drink.
  • Mel delivered my next days selection each afternoon & checked in to see how I was going.
  • End of day 1 I had a headache (Nurofen fixed that) & a bottle of juice left over that I hadn’t used.
  • Because I’m such a night owl usually (those hours in which I either work + wine or Netflix + nibble!) I took some Melatonin after dinner (over the counter) and went to sleep 2 hours earlier than usual.. Those two hours had become my danger zone so I removed the temptation to break that habit.

Day 2

  • See day one except that headache arrived earlier, I put off the Nurofen until the headache got too annoying
  • Stuck to my granny bed time & Melatonin routine to dream about the usual highlight of my week – Thursdays happy hour drinks, planning my cocktail or would I have another glass from that beautiful bottle of rose still waiting for me in the fridge? Mmmmmmm…

Day 3

  • No headache & I was so focused on all of the things I was getting done I forgot to watch the clock for my next juice!
  • Went for a long walk & felt energised.
  • Wasn’t hungry & counting down the minutes until my next one. Wtf – now I get why three days… on day three I felt good! I could keep going.
  • I slow cooked some detox chicken & veg soup to ease myself out over the next few days.
  • I’m actually tired & ready to rest at the end of each day. And here I was thinking I needed a wine to do that for me.

Post cleanse.
Why go back to my old ways now? Here’s my opportunity to get some momentum!

Changes I’ve made:
– Eased out with Mel’s post detox plan + Detox soup.
– Jasmine green tea instead of coffee
– I had one of my leftover bottles of juice at happy hour, minus the vodka (who the F am I?)
– Even though I’ve tried to eat a healthy dinners (e.g. steak & salad) I only get a few bites in (success my stomach has shrunk).
– I still can’t face wine, maybe I’ve reached my lifetime quota? If I feel like a drink I’m going with a vodka in soda water with a wedge of lime. And I can finally stop after one.
– Will I have coffee again? Yep. Will I have a wine & cheese again? Yep because life really is too short!
I just want to decide when & how much instead of letting the food & alcohol control me.

What I’ve noticed…
– I’ve lost 1.8 kgs – so far
– My energy is less hyper & now sustained
– More focus
– No cravings for alcohol.
– No cravings for sugar
– Calm & clear thinking
– Sleeping great
– Amount I can eat has greatly reduced
– I want to keep going

Next time I’m doing 5 days…

I used Detox Delivered located in Sydney for my cleanse.
They rocked my world. Highly recommend.

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